Empowered Choices: A Doula's Story of Tubal Ligation and Autonomy
Hello friends,
As a doula, I find myself advocating for women's autonomy and empowerment, especially when it comes to reproductive choices. Yet, when it came to my own decision to have a tubal ligation, I encountered unexpected hurdles and resistance from the medical community.
My husband and I knew early on that we were content with having just one child. My previous experience with Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG), a severe form of morning sickness, made the thought of another pregnancy daunting. The physical and emotional toll it took on me was immense, and the idea of going through it again while juggling existing responsibilities and the extra costs associated with a second child was overwhelming.
Despite our clarity and conviction about our decision, navigating the medical system to obtain a tubal ligation proved to be a challenging journey. As a woman under 30 with only one child, I was met with skepticism and questioning from gynecologists. Their concerns about hypothetical scenarios and potential future regrets felt dismissive of my own agency and autonomy.
"Why not consider a vasectomy for your husband instead?" they suggested. "What if you change your mind? What if something happens to your existing child?" These questions, while well-intentioned perhaps, failed to acknowledge my lived experience and the careful consideration my husband and I had already put into our decision.
I found myself defending my choice, pushing back against the notion that my reproductive decisions should be subject to external approval or scrutiny. "Why can I not have my own say about my own body?" I countered. The assumption that my husband's reproductive responsibility should outweigh mine was not only outdated but fundamentally unfair.
Our decision to have a tubal ligation wasn't made lightly. It was a culmination of personal experiences, discussions, and a deep understanding of our own desires and limitations. We wanted to focus on the family we had, to nurture our bond as a trio, and to prioritize our well-being and future aspirations.
Eventually, my persistence paid off, and I found a compassionate healthcare provider who listened to my concerns and respected my decision. They performed the procedure to cut and remove my tubes, and although I woke up feeling some slight discomfort, the recovery process was surprisingly smooth. I experienced no complications and was able to rest comfortably at home. During this time, my husband graciously took time off work to support me and care for our toddler. It was a relief to have his help, allowing me to relax and enjoy some much-needed downtime. In fact, I even indulged in reading three graphic novels within the first week of recovery.
This experience reaffirmed my commitment to honoring my own autonomy and choices. While the road may have been challenging, I emerged with a renewed sense of empowerment and a deeper understanding of the importance of advocating for reproductive justice for all.
Until next time.
Coral Adams
